Old Weird Ward
Unless otherwise noted, that which is posted here is opinion, which is protected by the First Amendment to the US Constitution. If you don't like my opinions, go somewhere else. Nobody is forcing you to actually read this drivel.
The presumption exists that you can read at all.
That may be a large assumption.
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Saturday, April 02, 2005
- - - - - Conversation With A 7-Year Old - - - - -
While down at the local Sears Tool and Garden store in St. Marys, GA, my youngest, MeelieNoh, came up with a most un-young-ladylike suggestion. To finance her go-cart (Yes, the local Sears Tool and Garden sells those things), she suggested that I become a "robber" - of what, exactly, was unspecified.
Later, when Mrs. OWW was present, we expanded on that theme.
"Daddy?"
"Yes, Sweetheart?"
"If you had lots of money, would you buy a car like Grandpa's?" Grandpa recently visited, and rented a Jag to tool around in.
"Sure I would, MeelieNoh."
"With all the toys, Daddy?" That Jag had every automotive toy known to Man, plus a few I still haven't figured out. Plus, a Jag XJ8L goes like the Hammers of Hell, in a rather ghastly and competent silence. Daddy wants one, right along with MeelieNoh.
"Yup. All the toys, MeelieNoh."
"Then you could my go-cart too, right?"
"Uhh...right."
"But first, you have to get rich."
"Yup." Where is MeelieNoh going with this, anyway?
"Well, Daddy, if you get one of the 'Rich-Quick' things like they have in the supermarket, then you could be a triple-nipple-gazillionaire, and have a Jag, and I could have a go-cart, right?"
Mrs. OWW suddenly sprayed a mouthful of wine all over a flat surface, and doubled over in silent, hysterical laughter. MeelieNoh watched Daddy very, very closely.
"Uhh...that's a pretty interesting idea, Sweetheart. What 'Rich-Quick' thing?"
"You know! The 'Toaster-Strudel' thing!
"Uhhh...OK. Then what, Baby?"
"Well, then you'll be a triple-nipple-gazillionaire! You'll have the Jaguwire to drive, with all the toys for me to play with! And I'll have the go-cart!"
Mrs. OWW had, by this time, managed to compose herself enough to get a question out without having obvious hysterics.
"Ummm...MeelieNoh, where did you get 'triple-nipple-gazillionaire', Sweetheart?"
"Oh, I made it up, Mommy!"
"That's nice MeelieNoh. Very nice."
So, there you have it. This is the method by which OWW gets Lots and Lots of Money. I'll do the "Toaster-Strudel" thing, and become a "Triple-Nipple-Gazillionaire."
When it all happens, there'll be "Film at Eleven".
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