Old Weird Ward
Unless otherwise noted, that which is posted here is opinion, which is protected by the First Amendment to the US Constitution. If you don't like my opinions, go somewhere else. Nobody is forcing you to actually read this drivel.
The presumption exists that you can read at all.
That may be a large assumption.
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Saturday, November 06, 2004
- - - - - Kicking Them When They're Down Department - - - - -
There is a fine old American Tradition of which I heartily approve, unless I'm on the losing end, of course!
It's called "Poking Fun At The Losers". Keep in mind the various Hollyweird types who have threatened to leave the country if GW got re-elected....
Letter from (Name Redacted) Cruise Lines....
We at (Redacted) Cruise Lines didn't forget that a lot of entertainers have promised to leave the country if George W. Bush is re-elected President.
With that in mind, we have a Special Offer for those who still want to keep their promise!
Attention: Would Alec Baldwin, Rosie O'Donnell and her wife, Ed Asner, Janeane Garafalo, Whoopi Goldberg, Al Franken, Michael Moore, Cher, Phil Donahue, Rob
Reiner (apparently still a "meathead"), Barbara Streisand, Jane Fonda, Pierre Salinger, as well as the entire staffs of the LA and NY Times and anyone else
who made that promise, please dispose of all US assets and report to Florida for the sailing of the (Redacted) Funship "Elation," which has been commissioned to
take you to your new vacation homes in Afghanistan. You may opt to be dropped off in Somalia or Iraq. The Florida Supreme Court will sponsor a Farewell Parade in your honor through Palm Beach, Broward, and Miami-Dade counties prior to your cruise.
Please pack for an extended stay... at least four more years.
Note: Since you advocate strict gun control, you may not bring any.
Staffing your voyage is Bill Clinton as captain, Al Gore as cruise director, Grey Davis as Purser, and Teresa Heinz Kerry hopefully will be kept somewhere
below decks away from the media.
Monica Lewinsky as the "Cigar and Cigarette Girl," Entertainment by the Dixie Chicks and Bruce Springsteen. John Kerry will be our Life Guard in consideration of his past experience in pulling people out of the water. (Unless he decides at the last
minute not to go.) He is advocating the elimination of the game "shuffleboard" in favor of his new game which he calls "waffleboard." Be sure to pack your
flip-flops as you will need them while playing.
Ted Kennedy will double as Bartender and Director of Emergency Procedures. Rev. Al Sharpton will provide inspirational services, and Ex-Congressman Gary Condit
will serve as intern coordinator.
If you have any questions about making arrangements for your homes, friends, and loved ones, please direct your comments to Senator Hillary Clinton. Her village
can raise your children while you're gone, and she can watch over all your money and your furnishings until you return.
"Bon Voyage!"
Is this a great country or what?
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